my theory 4.5

mytheory4.5


(this is actually my posts at suaramalaysia.com. I just want to share with you all)


1st post


:)

its seem to be interesting here. Raping wife.

Where should i start? maybe with the status of the 'hak asasi' or the human rights itself..

human rights has two major schools. one is the universalisme and other on is the relativisme. It seems that 'raping wife' is under the 'universalisme' school.

universalisme is 'using all the western thoughts in defining the human rights'. while 'relativisme' is also 'demanding us to take the values of religous in defining the human rights.'


Let the mufti's fatwa is just concerning with the muslims. It is not concerning with others than muslim. While in Suhakam views, it is concerning all, plus the muslim.

So, in my humble point of view, the mufti is speaking for the Islam itself.He is saying something prohibited in Islam. Not something that is prohibited in Malaysia.

It is free for non-moslems to state that kind of act as 'raping'. :)



:)

when someone want to talk about Islam, about its jurispundence. About what Muhammad (pbuh) said, or what the Quran said, please read them from their real revelation. It is a shame for me, for anyone to blame islam, while they are not knowing the right of islam.

while you are talking about husband and wife, about the marriage, do you know how islam made the contracts? Do you think that it is same? :)

read more about islam my brother. Assuming can lead to misconception. If you really feel that mufti is making a very big mistake, ask him on his reasons. Maybe what you called as logic is no more logic after that :)

i dont know what is good for non-moslem. But what islam made, is already good for moslem. The word 'rape' cannot be use in husband-wife realationship because of the system islam is using. A person needs to understand the system well before can commenting about the irrilevance of it.

Maybe brothers and sisters are well educated in the western style of marriage. But do you really understand Islam's way?

:)


(speaking about the mufti. and why woman cannot be a mufti.. theres special case for special people :) woman are special, so we, moslem, do treat them special. we are not making them as servant. we just put them in the right place.

and for others info, woman can be a leader if she is capable to. No exception on that.

theres rule on appointing the leader. it is not just if woman do not need to fulfill the requirement :) )


Please ask our scholars.. do not make assumption . If you not hesitate to ask lawyers about law, why cant you ask the eligible person to know about islam? :)

Oh, you are discriminating us :)




2nd post


(i m answering the host on this second post)

:)

maybe what i call as 'guidance' is not necessary for others.

Yes, truthfully no answers giving to the question. i just giving an idea: ask the ulama' himself on how islam is.


It is trully dull if i start saying that you must believe in one god, then you can see all the reasons. And all what i can do is blaming others for not understanding Islam.

:) oK, so maybe i could start with something called as Understanding How Islam Works.

First of all, the principle that we moslem all believe, is let the scholars by themselves answer all the questions that may lead to difficulties to us. justification? Because islam system deals with lot of scientific ways of its own. just like understanding Law is just given to Lawyer or Judge, understanding Islam is given to the ulama'

It doesnt meant that we, the normal moslem, non-scholars, didnt know anything. Just we are not well educated enough to give the understanding to others. We dont know enough about certain Acts, or certain ayah. So, we dont want to talk much about them, as we dont want Islam got the bad name because of our lack of understanding.

:) Analogy given is same as the policy maker or the judge. One knows better, then he is the one eligible to answer. theres certain qualification, that a moslem need to fulfil, before he s can be a scholar.


What can i say much is, the lack of understanding in ISLAM iS just because the moslem themselves, do not want to tell about islam.

:)

I m not going to curse anyone, saying anything offensive, just because you are not believing on the same god as me. But maybe, i can try telling certain things, that i understand, about this Human Rights issue.


First of all, Resident ask me wether it is allowed in Islam to harsh a wife to make sexual intercourse.

My answer is : NO.

islam prohibit it. It totally prohibit in Islam to do something that unjust.

So whay the mufti says that theres no rape in marriage?

My answer is: what is the definition of harsh? the definition of sexual intercourse? the definition of rape?

some people said that question cannot answer question. In my case, the question is rhetorical question. I learned from many experiment done by the psychologist, that rhetorical question may lead to answer, or it itself may answer the question.

Difficulties came out just because the different itself in the definition. Civil definition and islamic definition is totally differed.

Just, in civil means 'giving the balance equation to two personal'. While in Islam, just is 'putting the things on its place'.

(many things grow in my mind, and its quite a lecture if i m going to define all. so i take just some points).

Straight to the 'rape of wife' issue'.

I ll take some reasons (or muslim called it as hikmah). But first of all, do mind that hikmah never be the real reasons why muslim implement hukm, or law. Moslem implement law because they obey the god. Maybe this make you sick, or you just justifying them, but just remember that.

:) In scientific research made by Allan&Barbara, we can find that man can get stimulated, can have the intention to do the sexual intercourse for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. while women, they have just certain times, or certain peak. Islam is meaning by 'women cannot refuse' is on the case that woman cannot refuse for most of their time. If they always refuse that, then it is not just for the man himself.

Islam also emphasize about the family condition. Is the family will be stable anymore if the husband and wife always quarrelling?

Then the nasab (or the roots of human). people marry to secure their roots. They will have child for themselves. They will know that these childs or that child is belong to those families. If the woman always refuse to do the sexual intercourse, we hesitate that the husband may go to prostitute and this will damage or destroy the roots of the family.


it is untrue or a false statement if you say: Woman cant say anything in Islam.

Give me a prove. Where Islam stated that.

In real islam, in what we call as Islam, woman can justify. They can say , can ask, can talk.

not aggreeing with 'raping wife' issue doesnt meant that islam harsh woman.

When a woman is PMS (in their haid), a husband cannot make sexual intercourse with her, thats what Islam said. When they are just giving birth, a husband cannot make a sexual intercourse too. That ISLAM SAID TOO.

In islam, we always want people to be calm. Talk calmly, act calmly. be nice with others. 'Raping wife' is harsh. You married someone, and then, someone justifying your sexual intercourse by saying that you are raping your wife.

In Islam, we want you to talk together. have a counseling session. Husband and wife sit together, and talk. We dont want you to always using the law, to force using the court. Marriage problem can be solve calmly, not emotionly.

Thats what the mufti meant by 'no rape in marriage'. We do not exclude man from being punished for forcing her wife. We just want to be more human. use voice instead of action.

Marriage is full with commitment. When you marry, you will have childs, getting more relatives, more in-laws status people. It is so rude when you end the relation in a statement that ' you rape ur wife'.

i m talking about the wisdom. Cause that what islam teach me. Wisdom comes when we think in calm and logic. Not with emotion.

Of course i wil never let someone rape anyone near to me. No at all. And no moslem want it to be like that.

islam gives solution in their kind way. In polite (i think so), soft way.

May Allah helps me in making others understand, insyaallah

:)




3rd post

( i m answering to another posting asking me about my thoughts on being rude to women)


furiosanger.. :)

so how could i answer it?

without bringing religion? how could me, a moslem, who believe that islam is my guidance of life, can answer without using the guide?

what should i use? my mind? is it my answer still not logic?


It always being pity for me, when people ask me to be liberal. But then, they wont give any room for me to say it in my style :)


ok, its up to you to say that 'raping wife' is allowed. I cant say anything.

I just give you an alternative thinking. It is Islam.

:) Sorry if i m very fundamental and orthodox.

And sorry if my lack of skills in using language made others think that i m condemning others.

I didnt say that Resident is offensive. He seems to ask me politely. Theres someone else that use the impolite words. And i ask them to say words politely. Just that.

:)


Maybe people should re-read my post.

:)

honestly, its just two difficult for me :) I m not having enough capabilities as we are talking in 'two different languages'.

One, believe in the logic.
One, believe in the revelation.

For both companies, they have their own rules.

The system only can be called as the system if its run fully on it.

Just sorry :) I dont want to be seem as offensive.


again..

ok. read through, again and again about the topics. I need to understand much much more.

First, rephrase my words, that in Islam, contract of marriage is different

Second, from what could understand from the question, i can say that 'a man should not be rude to his wife'.

It is not permissable to him to force her to do sex. It is not permissable to him to kick or punch her.


Third, while i emphasize about Islam, i meant by the word 'rape'. We cannot use rape as rape defined as non-legal sex.

But it still the same moral that we bring: man should not being offensive /forcing.


Conclusion, we bring the same motive and need :

Husband should not force her wife to do sex

:) He should be responsible to what he did.


How to punish him?

Legally how?

Rape him too, then he will know how it felt to be rape?


?


how if he is not well-minded? how if her wife has been so rude, not giving him sex for years? and how if he just not know how to do sex politely?

I just came out with many possiblities. As we need varieties of rule for varieties of motive. True?

Can islam way of solution, be accepted, if it came to way of moslem? ( i just saying that for my past long entries. shame on me)

:)


To make a rule, to punish someone, we need to be just. just is not meant to be just only to the woman, but also just to the man.

Is it just, good, if we made a custom law for all kind of acts?

:)

thinking about that, i think the mufti is giving us one part of the solution. he is supporting the motive, only he is not agree with the whole statement.

am i true?

____________________________________________

Again, i m asking here. Am i true?